How Could you Ever Love A Monster?
by Pupcake125
Summary: Unohana has doubts about herself when she hears other members talking about her rough and bloody past. Rated T for blood.


**I am currently obsessed with my new favorite pairing: Unohana x Jushiro. I think Unohana was the prettiest Soul Reaper and Kubo just HAD to kill her off... So, to celebrate, I wrote a story for the beautiful Squad 4 healer. Happy Birthday, Unohana!**

* * *

**How Could You Ever Love A Monster?**

_How could anyone ever love a monster?_

_A creature,_

_Destined to kill._

_Born to destroy,_

_Created to take the lives_

_Of those who love._

_Even those,_

_Who choose to love_

_The one thing_

_That could end their life..._

It was a gorgeous spring day in the Soul Society. The green grass was splattered with the color of vibrant flowers that grew in full bloom, gently flowing in the breeze. The day was warm, the cool wind making it a perfect day to be outside and enjoying the day.

Jushiro in particular was enjoying the lovely day. He sat, watching the koi swim in the pond, sipping his tea lightly and smiling down at the water. The nice weather wasn't the only thing that made this day special. It was Unohana's birthday today. He had spent the entire day hiding from his lover to surprise her with a present later on in the evening. Unohana wasn't one for extravagant gifts. She liked to live simply, and enjoyed small presents like a bouquet of flowers, or even a small pin to put in her hair. So, Jushiro spent many days in the World of the Living trying to find the right gift for her. It wasn't easy. Everything he saw he wanted to get for her. Shiny jewelry, beautiful kimonos, porcelain tea sets, just about everything.

But he had found it. The perfect gift. And he was going to give it to her tonight. It was a little fancy, yes, but he knew she was going to love it.

* * *

"Happy Birthday, Captain." Isane handed her captain a bouquet of tulips and daffodils. The first ones of the season. The tulips were red, purple, and orange, and the daffodils were the brightest yellow in the spring. And they were tied by an elegant blue bow. Unohana's eyes lit up at the sight of them and she accepted them with open arms.

"Thank-you, Isane." Unohana inhaled the beautiful scent deeply. "Spring flowers are always the best." she said.

Isane blushed with a little bit of pride. "It's easy to find the best flowers for you when your birthday is right in the heart of spring. I'm really glad you like them." Isane bowed. Unohana smiled at her.

"You don't need to treat me so formally just because it's my birthday, Isane. Just talk to me like I'm like it's any other day." she said.

"Yes, captain." Isane nodded before straightening and looking at her short captain. "Do you think Jushiro has gotten you a present?" Isane asked curiously. Unohana giggled.

"I know he did. I think that's why I haven't seen him around all day." Unohana said.

"I'm sure he got you something to die for." Isane said.

"I'm going to return these to my room. Until I return, monitor he patients and I'll be back to help with the treatment." Unohana ordered.

"Yes, captain." Isane repeated and hurried off to the patients. Unohana smiled at her before making her way down the main hallway back to her bedroom. She was very grateful for Isane remembering her birthday. Even more so for giving her such beautiful flowers. What really made her wonder is what Jushiro was hiding from her. That silly man... last year he had gotten her pink silk kimono that almost matched Kyoraku's. The year before he had gotten her a rare bonsi tree that costed him almost an arm and a leg. She had told him that lavish gifts like that weren't her taste and he really shouldn't spend so much money on her. He had obliged, but she had a hunch that he had disobeyed her just for today.

Unohana smelled her flowers once more as she passed through the halls of her division. She smelled so pretty... just like the air whenever the flower fields bloom by the gates of the Rukon District. The area she spent most of her time in when she wasn't part of the Gotei-13. It sent her mind reeling with images of her younger days.

"Did you hear?"

A muffled, foreign voice stopped Unohana in her tracks.

"It's Captain Unohana's birthday today."

The voice wasn't any of her subordinates. It sounded like a patient.

"Well I'm not wishing her a happy birthday! She might gut me like a fish!"

Unohana gasped. Why would they think that?

"She's the scariest member of the Gotei-13. Haven't you heard of her past?"

"Yeah. She's a bloodthirsty monster."

Unohana's heart shattered at the words. Her eyes trembled and her grip tightened around the flowers in her hands.

_Monster...?_

"Even though she's the most experienced healer in the Soul Society I don't want to be around her when her instinct kicks in."

"You and me both."

"It still surprises me how Yamamoto trusted her of all people to heal Soul Reapers."

"I'm surprised that Yamamoto can trust her period!"

"And poor Jushiro..."

Unohana's heart jerked once again.

"He's crazy for loving a monster like her."

There was that word again.

"They do say love is blind."

"Well, let's just appreciate him while he's still here. It'll only be a matter of time before she snaps and takes his life, too."

Unohana bit her lip hearing that last bit. She would never hurt Jushiro. She loved him. And she wasn't a monster. She wasn't a monster...

Was she...?

* * *

Jushiro packed the small box away inside his sleeve and made his way to the Squad 4 hospital. He decided he couldn't wait any longer and surprising Unohana was work seemed like a great idea. Besides, he was very impatient when waiting to do a surprise.

Jushiro walked down the corridors of the Squad 4 hallway and saw Isane walking towards him. "Good evening, Isane!" Jushiro greeted. Isane jumped at his greeting.

"Oh! Jushiro. What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I decided to drop off Unohana's gift early. I couldn't wait any longer." Jushiro said.

"Oh," Isane frowned. "She went home a while ago and never came back." Isane said. Jushiro looked surprised.

"Huh?"

"She said she was going to drop off the flowers I got for her, but she never returned. I figured she had some sort of emergency, but usually she tells me, or takes me with her." Isane said. "I didn't want to check up on her just in case she didn't like my flowers and didn't want to hurt my feelings." I sane said. That didn't sound like the Retsu Jushiro knew. Something must be wrong.

"I'm going to go check up on her." Jushiro said before walking away, leaving Isane to ponder where her captain went.

* * *

Flashbacks of red splattering everywhere filled Unohana's mind. The sound of her blade slicing her victims' bodies deafened her, locking her in a trance-like state as she sat on her bed. She remembers running her fingers through the spilled crimson that ran down the walls and puddled on the ground. Her body shook with overwhelming excitement at the sight of her enemies spilling their guts and the glinting scarlet on her blade. She was in pure ecstacy feeling droplets of blood splatter across her face and tint her pale skin. Her blue eyes became dark at the sight of blood. Her heart raced feeling the warmth of the fluid running down her hands and staining the white fabric of her haori. She had never felt pure joy during those times. During the times of her criminal habits. Spilling blood and mutilating bodies. Just like her bloodthirsty and violent nature. Just like a monster would...

"Retsu?"

The soft voice and gentle knock snapped Unohana out of her trance and her eyes returned to normal. It was as if she had been sedated into a dream and woke up. She barely remembered where she was until she looked down and saw she was sitting on her bed. She sighed quietly and closed her eyes, thankful it was just a flashback. For a minute she thought she was actually living all those centuries of her crimes...

"Retsu, are you there?"

More knocks came; heavier ones that echoed throughout the empty room. Unohana opened her mouth to call out, but nothing came. Her voice as caught in her throat. Because she knew who it was. And maybe if she didn't say anything, he wouldn't come in.

_ Click!_

The door slid open just enough for Jushiro to peek in and he saw Unohana sitting on her bed, her hair draped around her, and her eyes wider than he had ever seen them.

"Retsu?" Jushiro whispered. He flicked on the light that made the room brighter and slowly made his way in. "Retsu, what's wrong?" he asked her as he advanced towards her. He sat down on the bed next to her, but she didn't look at him. She refused to. "Retsu, what's wrong? Isane's worried about you. You didn't go back to work. How come?" he asked. His persistence only made her bite her lip. She clenched her fists together and sqinted her eyes shut. "Retsu," his voice was stern and that's when she looked at him. His eyes looked worried and his voice sounded a bit angry. "Isane told me you left here and didn't come back. That's not like you. So tell me what happened. Whatever happened clearly upset you and I want to know. Now." he demanded. Unohana gave a silent gasp before looking down at her hands.

"Jushiro..." she muttered. Jushiro stared at her. "How could you...?" she whispered.

"Huh?" Jushiro was stumped. "How could I what?"

Unohana twirled her hair in her fingers. "How could you... love a monster like me..." she closed her eyes. Jushiro was shocked at her words. What was she talking about?

"Unohana, what are you talking about?" Jushiro asked. Unohana turned away from him.

"Jushiro... you do know about my past right?" she whispered. Jushiro was silent. "How I... was a criminal. How I murdered for pleasure. How I..." she swallowed hard. "How I was the previous Kenpachi of Squad 11." she stopped talking for a while which created an awkward silence between them.

"What about it?" Jushiro said, as if it was no big deal. Unohana looked up at him.

"I'm a monster, Jushiro..." Unohana said. Jushiro was still confused. Why was she saying this? "At nature I'm bloodthirsty and violent. I killed more people in my lifetime than I've Hollows. I could snap anytime and yet... and yet you choose to love me... why?" her voice cracked. Now Jushiro understood...

"Retsu, I don't know why you're calling yourself a monster, but I don't believe it." Jushiro said.

"How can't you?" Unohana didn't understand. "I was a murderer..." she clenched her fists. That's when Jushiro placed his hands over hers.

"Unohana, you're not a monster." he whispered. "Would a monster be trusted by Genriyusai himself?" he asked. Unohana looked down. "Would a monster be the head of the 4th Squad and be known as the greatest healer in all of Soul Society history? Would a monster let her commrades, and enemies, die in battle? And so what if I love you? Then I'll be the person who loves a monster. But so long as I can see, I'll never look at you and think of a monster." he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Retsu. We've been together for a very long time and I intend to stay together for centuries to come." Jushiro said. He nuzzled the crock of her neck with a warm smile, feeling Unohana's anxious reiatsu finally calming.

"Jushiro..." Unohana turned and embraced him, longing for his comfort. Jushiro wrapped his arms around her tightly and stroked her back. He felt her cling to him with all her strength and kept a protective embrace around her.

"And you know who else loves you?" Jushiro asked. "Isane," he said. Retsu pulled away and looked at him with surprised eyes. "Isane thinks of you like a mother. She's always trying her hardest to impress you and do better for you. Without you she'd be a nervous wreck. She wouldn't be capable of saving lives without you. If she honestly believed you to be a monster she wouldn't even be in Squad 4 today." he finished with a quick peck to her lips. "And look at those beautiful flowers she gave you." he saw the flowers Unohana had put in a vase when he opened the door.

"You're right, Jushiro..." Unohana whispered, then smiled up at him. "You're so right... How stupid of me. I'm sorry." she hugged him again. He only chuckled.

"It's okay. But what made you feel this way? It's not like you to act this way. Did someone say something?" Jushiro asked.

"Yes, unfortunately..." Unohana pulled away with a frown. "I usually never care at remarks like this, but when they mentioned you it... it just hurt... a lot..." she admitted.

"I see... what did they say about me?" Jushiro asked.

"They said that you were crazy for loving me and that it was only a matter of time until I..." she stopped talking and Jushiro rubbed her back again.

"Don't listen to them." Jushiro pulled her into him once more. "You've proven your loyalty to the Gotei-13 and put your past behind you. You've saved countless lives in your lifetime here in Squad 4. Almost as many lives as you've taken." Jushiro kissed her neck and felt her shudder against him. "And let them call me crazy. If I honestly thought you were dangerous I wouldn't be here now would I?" he said. Unohana smiled and nuzzled against him.

"No... you're right. Thank you so much, Jushiro..." That was it. She started crying.

"Hey, hey. No tears," he wiped them away with his sleeve. "You can't cry on your birthday. How about I give you your birthday present? I've been carrying it around all day." Jushiro said.

"Okay." Unohana said drying her eyes.

"It took me a while to find you the perfect gift. I spent a long time in the World of the Living to get it for you." Jushiro dug around his sleeve. "And I know you don't like fancy, shiny gifts, but I really think you'll love this." he pulled out a small black box with a white ribbon tied around it and handed it to her. Unohana took it and pulled at the ribbon.

"Really, Jushiro. I have plenty of jewelry from you already." she said as she pulled at the top of the box.

"I never said it was jewelry." Jushiro winked at her. Unohana chuckled at him as he pulled the top off and gasped when she laid eyes on the contents.

"I know how much you love hummingbirds. So you can imagine how excited I was when I found it." Jushiro smiled as he watched his love pull the delicately jewelled hummingbird out of it's box. "In the human world it's called a trinket box. Ichigo's sister has a few of them and showed me the shop she got them from. Do you like it?" Jushiro asked. Unohana was speechless. Her eyes sparkled like stars as they reflected off he diamonds encrusted on the glass figure.

"Oh, Jushiro it's perfect!" she smiled widely.

"Open it," Jushiro said. This surprised Unohana a lot more. When she opened it she pulled out a small pendent of a hummingbird identical to the box in her hand.

"Jushiro, this is beautiful!" Unohana felt tears form in her eyes once more.

"I'm glad you like it." Jushiro pulled her forward. "Happy Birthday, Retsu. I'm so happy you like it. I love you." he kissed her on the lips.

"I love you too, Jushiro. Thank you for the best birthday of my life." she locked lips with his. And she now understood how even monsters like her could find their perfect soul mate

**Review?**


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